DEFCONs and Elephants in the Room
01:02:01
Brisbane Sculpture - Has statue toppling gone too far? - Australia
“We don’t control the obstacle, we control our response to the obstacle ”
Despite my previous attempts to inspire and encourage you to embrace a life of freedom, travel, and adventure, it seems some doubts still linger. Those persistent little voices of uncertainty still continue leading to prevarication, pontification, and procrastination.
So consider this:
Today, the universe is estimated to be around 46 billion light-years wide, expanding at an ever-increasing rate. This estimate is only speculative since we can’t see beyond the cosmic horizon.
As Douglas Adams put it, “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.”
What we can be sure of is that the space between objects in the universe is expanding exponentially. Time is accelerating, and the fabric of space is moving away from us at an increasing velocity. The space between you and everything you know, including your dreams, grows larger every day.
Learning about the Wonders of the Universe, Brisbane Planetarium - Australia
Inertia is fateful, but doubts, fears, and concerns don’t have to be. As Seneca so succinctly said: "It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it."
In section 01-01-05, titled "The Right Mindset," we explored how anything is possible with the right attitude. The essence is that if you genuinely want something, you will find a way. But what if you believe you want to pursue a dream, while deep down, you don’t?
Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you're right."
Several years into planning our grand adventure, we faced similar doubts. Unexpected challenges arose, our business folded, we experienced family losses, and life simply got in the way. The inquiries about our departure date became increasingly embarrassing. It reached a point where we had to introspect and ask ourselves, "Do we really want this, or do we just like the idea of wanting it?”
Let’s talk about more big things – elephants.
In his book "The Happiness Hypothesis," Johnathan Haidt describes the human mind as having two components: the emotional side (the elephant) and the rational side (the rider). The elephant symbolises the emotional, instinctive, and impulsive part of our minds, determining the general direction of life’s journey. On the other hand, the rider represents the rational, analytical, and conscious part of our minds.
Haidt uses this analogy to explain decision-making. The rider may believe he’s in control, but in reality, it’s the elephant's emotional responses that decide the path, leaving the rider to justify or rationalise the decisions already made.
Yewan facing obstacles to his swim - he eventually swam with these sharks - Galapagos Islands - See blog : https://youtu.be/wsZFhwX3sAg?si=_aTJIDm0RDm1d7Ex
Your elephant has already decided whether you will pursue this dream.. or not. Now it’s up to the rider inside your head to rationalise it. If you find obstacles insurmountable, maybe your elephant isn’t heading down that particular path. No amount of inspiration or travel blogs will sway your elephant.
However, if you view obstacles as part of the learning curve on the path to your goal, seeing perseverance as a natural part of the process, then you’re onto something. The rider in your head will guide your unrelenting elephant around, over, or through those obstacles.
And it’s all good training for the future because, after all, a smooth sea does not make a skilled sailor.
Marketing guru Seth Godin also addresses this phenomenon, calling the obstacles we face the 'Dip.' Quitting, he suggests, is not always negative; it can be a smart strategy if done at the right time.
"Extraordinary benefits accrue to [people] with the guts to quit early and refocus their efforts on something new."
However, he adds that those who persevere "don’t waste time whining about it. They don’t have a lot of people to blame. Instead, they see the dip as an opportunity.”
Next week, we’ll confront the most common doubts, fears, concerns and niggles, vanquishing these foes in an epic showdown. Meanwhile, let’s conclude this week’s quote buffet with a mashup of Lao Tzu’s most famous aphorism and an old Dutch proverb.
’A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and he who is outside his door has the hardest part of the journey behind him.’
“If you want to do it..”
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This week's suggestions:
So, who’s up for a game of ‘DEFCON’ this week?
Make a list of all your doubts, fears, concerns and niggles (let’s call them DEFCONs for fun). Coincidently DEFCON is an acronym used by the US military meaning "Defence Condition” and indicates a state of readiness, so it seems apt. I think maybe they stole it from me ;)
Don’t hold back with this list; really go for it. Keep a notebook by your bed so that when you wake in the middle of the night with another DEFCON, you can write it down.
It doesn’t matter how trivial or stupid these DEFCONs seem. And don’t even attempt to confront any of them yet. The point of this exercise is to draw that dark negativity from your head into the cold light of day to form the basis of an actionable battle plan.
By exposing those little DEFCONs, we can devise effective counter-strategies to face those foes head-on.
As Sun Tzu said in the ‘Art of War,’ "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”
By knowing your enemies and knowing yourself, you will achieve three things:
Reduce your anxiety to a manageable bullet-pointed list for you to approach soberly and systematically.
Expose gaps in your finances, skillset or knowledge, starting you on an actionable plan for closing those gaps.
Fortify yourself against pushback and negativity from family and friends by anticipating their DEFCONs
Jump in now and keep doing this for a week, and in the following weeks we can look at the most common DEFCONs starting with "DEFCON 1 - What about my career?"
That’s it for this week, and as Lao Tzu and Sun Tzu might say, 再见!
